tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-172372812024-03-23T11:26:58.532-07:00Nura's Thoughts...Sometimes there is so much noise in my head that the only way I get peace is by writing.. So I'm giving this a try..Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-21283274703665431952007-01-27T21:06:00.001-08:002007-01-27T21:09:35.587-08:00<p style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">Spiritual Partnerships</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I was skimming through the pages of “The Seat of the Soul” by Gary Sukav and had a few thoughts I wanted to share. Reading through the pages and understanding the concepts, I felt like someone had worded the essence of what I believe in when it comes to relationships. Let me share.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Two concepts marked me. Firstly, the idea of a SPIRTUAL PARTNERSHIP as a partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth. This could be a husband, friends, colleagues and so on. The idea here is that you create these connections with others for the purpose of growing emotionally to become a healthy and wholesome being. Spiritual growth requires healing and overcoming those parts in our personalities that are based in fear (anger, jealousy, feelings of superiority/inferiority and unworthiness for instance). Fear of course, it the root of all evil.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The concept of spiritual partnership coincides to exactly what I am looking for in my friendships and inshaAllah in my future partner. I am not interested in the traditional model of marriage, which involves my husband providing for the family and me giving birth and raising our children. A model based on survival. I want something deeper. I want a relationship where we work together to reach deeper more purposeful goals – coming closer to Allah and to being the best person we each can be – independently yet together.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The second idea that he eloquently presented is the idea that every unexpected sorrow and pain is the <st1:place st="on">OPPORTUNITY</st1:place> to grow spirituality. Pain as an opportunity. How interesting. When you think of it, as we are exposed to painful situations such as death, divorce, failure in business or school etc or even those difficult situations of others, we can react in one of two ways: become the victim or the creator. If we decide to be the latter, we can use these moments to learn about ourselves and grow in the most positive of ways, to learn how we are creating now and how we can CHOOSE to CREATE DIFFERENTLY. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Growth both spiritually and emotionally is very important to me. I find myself often reflecting and trying to understand why I react in certain ways and how I can perceive things in ways that are more constructive and better for my soul. Having said that, I am still a very strong realist and very well grounded (not a hippy I promise!) but I am constantly striving for betterment, for a stronger connection and closeness to my creator… In many ways the relationships I seek are with people looking for this same growth with an eye on the big picture of this life and a conscious knowledge of our mortality. And my partner… I hope he will support me in working towards spiritual growth with an attitude that will make us both enjoy the journey. </p>Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1167702088237354742007-01-01T17:14:00.000-08:002007-01-03T08:43:00.863-08:00<span style="font-weight: bold;">Welcome Y2k7!</span><br /><br />Within a blink of an eye came 2007 - a whole new year packed with excitement and endless possibilities! I celebrated in Chicago this year, staying with my brother and his wife. I spent the evening babysitting my beautiful niece and nephew. I wonder how many other 24 year olds spent New Year's Eve lying on the floor with two children watching Dora's Halloween Adventures!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In Retrospect</span><br />It's funny to think that it was only one year ago that I officially moved to Canada from Switzerland for what I knew would be quite the adventure. On December 31st 2005, I had arrived in Montreal that night, and had a quick sushi bite with friends, a nice tea. I was in bed sleeping away in peace while the clock ticked into the new year and I embarked on a fresh beginning in my new home.<br /><br />Moving to Canada, I set out looking for the community I have always lacked and that is what 2006 was all about and I am happy to say that the attempts were quite successful and set the groundwork for more to come... I met plenty of fabulous people this year from all walks of life and discovered many different personalities. Most importantly, I became more involved in the Islamic community and continued to explore my spirituality and my faith, which I treasure. 2006 was also a year of career discovery as I continue to search for my professional purpose! Moving through three different job positions, I feel much closer to knowing what I want to do. Consequently, I have finally made the confident decision not to go to law school and pursue a masters in business.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Looking Forward to 2007<br /></span>If I had to choose a theme for 2007, it would be "stability". I want to find answers to all the questions that have been hanging up in the air for years... Going back for my MBA will help me really figure out what I want to do with my career and make myself more of an asset to the business world. There is so much to achieve and accomplish - I want to continue to race forward and challenge my capabilities. I want to strengthen my Islam... I want to overcome the emptiness I feel inside when it comes to Libya and stop feeling so torn and deformed... I want to get rid of this ache - that famous repetitive ache - that haunts me once every few months and begs me to return to my country and make it my own... and of course, I would love to meet a partner, someone compatible with my vision for the future and who shares similar desires so that we may merge our paths and move forward as one.<br /><br />So much to discover and learn... and I truly look forward to what life will bring. InshaAllah kheir!Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1159502303605415312006-09-28T20:57:00.000-07:002006-09-28T20:58:23.633-07:00My birthday yesterday.<br /><br />Another September 27th past and I have lived through it now for the 24th year in a row - thank God. I am noticing I feel discomfort on my birthday and prefer it that few people even know about it at all. Strangely enough, I am usually a lot more emotional than on other days. I must have received approximately 20 phone calls but I answered maybe four of them. At home before bed, I listened to all the voicemails. I had a moment. It pains my heart that the people I love are all over - listening to the messages made me ache a little and I was very touched they remembered and took the time to call. It really doesn't take much to make me happy and bring such pleasure into my life. Another reason why I don't like my birthday: expectations. To me it seems egotistical to celebrate a day you are born but there are all these expectations that I should have plans and do something meaningful. Yet I hardly every do and usually brush it off when friends make suggestions to do so.. and funnily enough, when I do nothing, I feel frustrated!! Either way, I like discretion and am touched by the show of love by those I care about - in whatever form it comes. That is enough. I just wish people weren't so scattered and somehow I did not feel so torn.<br /><br />My parents are complete jewels. My mother got me a birthday cake and when I arrived home from my sushi dinner with my close friend, she came out of the kitchen with a birthday cake with two candles (a 2 and a 4) with my dad singing away. Surprise. I tried not to cry but was so touched and felt a little guilty that I did not eat dinner with them. How blessed I am. It is a feeling of quiet joy and appreciation. Thank God for all I have and I hope others are able to experience a similar warmth and emotion derived from the love of others. Alhamdullah ya rab.Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1158293558754881702006-09-14T21:12:00.000-07:002006-09-14T21:22:19.820-07:00<span style="font-style: italic;">Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really </span><span style="font-style: italic;">like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. </span><span style="font-style: italic;">Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to </span><span style="font-style: italic;">say goodbye. I hate goodbyes. I know what I need. I need more hellos. </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">---Snoopy</span><br /><br />Apparently, abandonment the first fear that each of us experience as an infant. As such, it is the primal fear. I am reading into it...<br /><br />"The abandonment wound deepens with each new experience - a loss, a disconnection or a disappointment."<br /><br />Geneva, the city of diplomacy. Friends would come and go every four years. Summers in Libya. Family would rotate, new cousins discovered, old ones lost, family fights, people disappearing in and out. No consistency, except for the house. The youngest of five, they all left the house.. one by one.. until I was 17 and I was alone at home.<br /><br />"Abandonment is similar to other types of bereavement, but its grief is complicated by rejection and betrayal."<br /><br />I have become overly self-sufficient. I tend to keep people at a distance and only let a select few get close. Even those few are either in different continents, far away, or we only see each other a few times a week at most. Distance is always there. I suppose it is comfortable. No one overly close. Not a strong possibility of disappointment or pain. It scares me sometimes.<br /><br />Have you ever been in a crowd of 20 people you adore.. or received 30 phone calls in one day.. and still feel lonely? Worst still, have you ever come close to being loved, and pushed it away? Does it make sense that you would push something away that you quietly yearn for? And yet, you seem to have no control over it.. as though the self-defense mechanisms are operating on their own.. and you have absolutely no say in the matter.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Have I become the abandoner? </span>Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1156045225439968192006-08-19T20:31:00.000-07:002006-08-19T20:40:25.440-07:00I quit my job.<br /><br />After nine months of working at my IT company, I handed in my resignation on Thursday. My last day is on August 31st. I can not describe the feeling, it feels like I just got out of a suffocating, highly stressful and hopeless relationship and now feel like I have the world and many fish in the sea for me to explore!!!<br /><br />From the second month, I knew. I just knew. But I did not give importance to all the warning signs. Wanting to commit and grow within a job, I gave it a try - exhausted all my communications skills not to mention my self-control (not to shoot anyone, that is). My job was toxic - I do not think I have ever felt so overworked and undervalued. Although my position was good and the work was interesting, when you have it coming in all directions while you are already struggling to keep up and then your boss keeps demanding more work with better results - you just know either its time to quit or rip your hair out and explode. So I decided to quit. :)<br /><br />What's next? I have a few plans... Among them are intensive business French courses (I realize that my European French is often incomprehensible here - strange Quebecors!), studying for University entrance examinations, a few freelance projects, community projects (Hana I will get on that article!), my Islamic centre and hopefully some travelling before Ramadan (finally I get to see NY!!!). I am excited and although I really am not enjoying this destabilizing stage of life with so many question marks in the air - I feel like I am getting closer to knowing what I want through a great process of elimination. My job, I definitely did NOT want!<br /><br />I'm excited to see what is next... Rolling up my sleeves... BRING IT ON!Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1154054039678494772006-07-27T19:21:00.000-07:002006-07-27T19:33:59.690-07:00Writing My Own Script<br /><br />A few months ago I was approached by a lovely Libyan lady who knew me in the past.. right in the middle of all the confusion. She asked me to write about myself, to share my conflict and the trouble I had growing up in conflicting worlds... and to describe the synthesis I have become.<br /><br />At first, I was nervous not only to share something so personal but to actually delve into it and put words on the emotions. And for a moment, I wondered if I would be misunderstood... but that is beyond my control, so the least I could do was just try. Writing the article was quite a liberating experience and touching as well. From when I first started writing in this blog and now to the article on Tibra by extension - I have been contacted by Libyans (mostly ladies with a similar struggle) who have been reaching out to share their own stories... in hopes of finding a kindred spirit. And, I am here.<br /><br />I feel blessed. How ironic to have these experiences now, when I feel I need them less than I did when I was a confused adolescent exploring on my own. The more people I meet the more I realize that many people have had the same experiences - Libyan or otherwise - and that globalization has truly affected each and every one of us in such a deep way, especially as we were growing up and trying to make sense of the world.<br /><br />What a pleasure to have met you all.. and H. thank you very much for bringing out my words and allowing me to express them in such an unashamed way.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.tibra.org/">I invite you to read my story.</a>Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1151845366106861142006-07-02T05:51:00.000-07:002006-07-27T19:16:36.870-07:00Feeling suffocated...<br /><br />Montreal is amazing in the summer. Yesterday was Canada Day, plus there is the Jazz Festival going on right now and on top of that we have the World Cup games! Being new in Canada, I was all set to explore Canada Day yesterday with all the fireworks, parade and concerts. I mentioned to my parents that they should come but they declined - too crowded and too noisy, they said. So I made plans of my own. I went to a friend's house for dinner and after that gathered some friends and headed to the old port. The concert was beginning at 9:30pm and the fireworks at 10:30. Hmmm.. this is usually far beyond when I was usually home so I called and let my mother know. She was not happy. I told her grandparents were out, mothers, children, huge families, everyone was out there anticipating the beautiful sky displays and enjoying the music. And I was adamant to enjoy it - my first Canada Day!<br /><br />Needless to say, this morning I got the cold treatment. How dare I come home so late? It is a continuous struggle with the parents who live a completely isolated life, enjoying their daily tasks mainly within the confines of our home. Whereas I am so full of life, I want to experience everything and anything and never ever have I compromised my Muslim values and overstepped my boundaries. And yet, I still get the comments that I am excessive and out too much "like a boy" because I like to integrate into this world and see what it has to offer, and my parents sit afraid and isolated at home. I wish I had sisters or brothers who were here with me and can enjoy with me while my parents' hearts are at rest, but I don't. So what am I to do? I refuse to just lock myself in my room and let life pass me by... But at the same time, I never enjoy myself when I go out beyond a certain time because my watch begins to haunt me... Looking back now, I wonder - where the fireworks really worth it? The only difference between going and staying in my room was that I had the momentary pleasure of being there amongst hundreds of thousands of Montrealers celebrating a great evening - but this morning, the feeling is pretty much the same as if I wouldn't have gone out at all.<br /><br />Sitting here right now, I feel like I do not deserve this. I feel punished for being from colliding worlds and having strings pulling me in different directions. My parents' fear suffocates me. And in reality, I really am a daughter they should be proud of - never been wild, never done anything "wrong", always the responsible one in the group - but nonetheless, they complain because I want to be out experiencing the world whereas for them, good girls stay home past dark. So I guess I am not a good girl.<br /><br />***I do love my parents very much and I am certainly a good girl, this was just written in a moment of frustration. :)Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1149685950158851982006-06-07T06:04:00.000-07:002006-06-07T06:12:30.186-07:00Balance<br /><br />I am an all-or-nothing personality, there seems to be so little balance in my way of being that sometimes I need to consciously rethink my actions. Often, my energy and thoughts are so focused on one thing that I feel burnt out or overwhelmed.<br /><br />I have come to realize that the way to inner peace is balance. The best way to get something done is to just stop working on it for a while... just like a day full of hard work is nourished by a night of deep sleep. Balance allows a person to release those frustrations of every day living. Nature is a perfect example of this. Day flows into night in a never-ending cycle. Summer transitions into fall, which slowly prepares for the winter. Emotions work in similar ways. Happiness and sadness, effort and relaxation, excitement and quiet, work and play... all of these emotions allow our lives to be full, complete and in balance.Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1147484584818938772006-05-12T18:23:00.000-07:002006-05-12T19:08:27.690-07:00<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Men are running out!!! Or so it seems...</span></span><br />I am turning 24 this year and by most Arab standards that would probably mean I am towards the uhoh-getting-old-time-to-get-married age! Since most of my friends are in their late twenties, there is an unspoken panic regarding marriage and the lack of likable, decent men. The silent hopelessness in our conversations is very evident. <br /><br />But even worse than that questioning looming over us marriage-age-girls is the pressure... Why are we being made to feel that we need to give every man who comes for us a chance in fear of him being the last man you will be introduced to? Why is it that a girl can't just say NO I AM NOT INTERESTED when she is introduced to someone she does not necessarily feel chemistry with? In the back of our minds our mothers' words are uttered - "give him a chance, there aren't many good men out there" or "hmmmmmmm you are getting older now honey... " and my personal favorite, "you know back in my day, we weren't so picky.. we just said yes to whomever our parents' approved of and we made the relatonship work". How many girls have I met who aren't necessarily crazy about a guy but are keeping in touch with him and building a relationship in hopes that "he will grow on me"... Why do we have to feel like the situation is forced, almost desperate? Are men running out?Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1146674423588250042006-05-03T09:27:00.000-07:002006-05-03T09:43:09.163-07:00A few months have gone by since I visited my blog. I have been overwhelmed by the newness of everything. New job. New country. New boss. New city. New people. New shampoo. New gym. New (much higher) number on the scale.<br /><br />As much as I absolutely love change, as much as I realize that it is truly exhausting some days! I am constantly on the run and learning new things. Life is busy, very busy. I can not remember the time when I used to have a whole day free with nothing planned. Opening my outlook agenda, I see little blocks of time all filled up - even after the work hours. I am addicted to life, to experiences, to being busy and even when I try to "relax" and do nothing I fail miserably.<br /><br />Within these few months that I have been in Canada, I have gone to a hockey game, been to Miss Canada 2006 beauty pageant, gone hiking in the beautiful rivers in the North, attended a two-hour intensive Sushi class (the chef gave me a 10!! but I ended up eating all 18 pieces of Sushi I made..ahem), gotten completely lost all over the city (darned one way streets), gone to a book signing by the amazing Robin Sharma, regularly attended an Islamic monthly Hip Hop Poetry night as an outlet to all muslims for their feelings... and the list continues..<br /><br />There is so much to live, so much to see and so much to LEARN that I am absolutely unable to stand still and watch it go by. In fact, I refuse to. I spent so many years in Geneva stagnant and dying away that moving to Montreal has made me feel alive again and that is why I am compulsively trying to compensate! For now, I am enjoying it.<br /><br />Mind you, despite all of this, I am still in bed by 10:30pm and up at 6:30am every morning - so as active as I am these days, some things will never change!!!Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1139180090458930982006-02-05T14:54:00.000-08:002006-02-05T15:08:13.343-08:00<span style=";font-family:arial,helvetica;font-size:100%;" >If envy is a sin then I am the incurable sinner for I envy every eye that ever caught a glimpse of you. I envy the waves that carried your voice, and the air that touched your cheeks. I envy even the ground that once served you, and I confess to you that despite my indulgent sins, my shameful whimsies and ugly flimsies, I confess to you, "I love you." My confessions are as silly as my muted words. You have been loved by so many more substantial than I, and what good does my silence or confession possibly do? So many moments have I sat sheltered by the night in the midst of these books, my mind fulfilled but my heart calling for you. Only my shame restrains my words from filling pages of books and from whimpering into the night, "I long for you." This Conference of the Books, in countless days and nights, ignited by your memory, calls upon the world to ponder your legacy. Despite the citations, the arguments, and refutations, nothing equals a blissful moment spent engulfed in your adoration. For all the enlightenment of books, the brilliance of beauty, and the purification of light coalesced in the moments of time that hosted your life - Muhammad, Ahmad, Abu al-Qasim, al-nabi al-'amin, the messenger of God. Permit me my Prophet, my own beloved Prophet, to tell you that I do not know you from the majestic debates of this Conference, I do not know you from the learned lectures of teachers, or from some infatuated delusional dream. No, I do not know you from the books full of sayings you reportedly said, and I even do not know you from all the reports about your life and about your likes and dislikes. I know you from a moment in time in which I fell in love with you. I know you because God taught you, praised you, and honored you. I know you because God comforted you, consoled you, and empowered you. I know you because God loved you. My Prophet, I know you through a heart that loves.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Please note I did not write this passage.</span><br /></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;"> </span>Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1136947430088569102006-01-10T18:40:00.000-08:002006-01-10T18:43:50.090-08:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Eid Mubarek to All!!!! </span>What did I do today? I mostly ate and prayed. And then ate some more!! That's the Eid spirit! WOOHOO! :o)<br /><br />Other news:<span style="font-weight: bold;"> I am starting a new job</span>!!! After four interviews my darling IT company finally decided to take the ultimate risk and hire me: hyperactive Nura! So I am the <span style="font-weight: bold;">marketing communications specialist</span> for the firm, working as the right hand of the marketing manager and I could not be more excited. Finally I am learning to follow my passions instead of always needing for rationality and security. And it feels great!! Now not only do I have a routine but I finally finally finally have the stability I have been raving and ranting about all year! Alhamdullah ya rab!!! I suppose good things do come to those who wait - even those who wait impatiently!!!<br /><br />Wishing you all the best on this Eid and all my warmest blessings to your families!!Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1136786972328777132006-01-08T22:02:00.000-08:002006-01-08T22:15:38.570-08:00You know, <span style="font-weight: bold;">sometimes I feel like I don't want to be living in today's world</span>. It's all such a mess. Important things have become so <span style="font-weight: bold;">worthless </span>and we have learned to accept so many things that we absolutely should not. Or are we just jaded? In Islam, prayers, zakat, fasting these are among many "fared" that we must do as Muslims and yet we are impressed when we uncover that someone who crosses our path completes their daily prayers. Yet, this is fared and should go without saying. Walking down the street of downtown, we see the homeless sleeping on the corner. But instead of feeling for them, in our minds we are annoyed that they are polluting the streets and making our paths more unpleasant. Among girlfriends, marriage and future mates are discussed. Many do not even expect their husbands to be chaste just because they feel it would be unrealistic to have such an expectation, and yet "zina" is absolutely <span style="font-weight: bold;">HARAM </span>in Islam and is among the greatest sins. What happened? How and when did our standards for ourselves and others get so low? It frightens me sometimes.Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1136131475781642962006-01-01T08:02:00.000-08:002006-01-01T08:08:55.670-08:00<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-size:180%;">My New Year's Resolution</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Spiritual maturity</span> is definately the theme of this year's New Year's Resolution. I pray for forgiveness, for mercy, for increased knowledge and for my heart to become increasingly filled with Islam and God's grace this coming year. Mostly, I pray for patience and constancy in everything I do so that I eventually find the peace of mind that I crave in this little world of ours. Ameen.<br /><br /><br />Oh and did I mention those famous fifteen pounds I have been wanting to loose? But then again, they were on last year's list and the year before and the year before... so they dont count, do they??? Either way, diet starts today!<br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">All my best wishes to all for 2006 - may you have a blessed year! What is YOUR resolution for this coming year???</span></span></span></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span>Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1135862969089709012005-12-29T05:20:00.000-08:002005-12-29T05:31:22.960-08:00<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >5 Things People Don't Know About Moi</span> </span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">1. I used to play the Piano.<br />2. I get bored and restless easily - can't sit still and just do nothing.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />3. I have freakishly long toes (same with the fingers but the toes look more bizarre).<br />4. I cry during movies, especially cute romantic comedies.<br />5. I will go out of my way and do everything the hard way before asking someone else for help.<br /><br />Now that I have confided this in you, you are sworn to secrecy (no long toe jokes please)!!<br /><br />Thanks redenclave for tagging me!!</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1135738838917918782005-12-27T18:59:00.000-08:002005-12-27T19:13:45.966-08:00<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-size:180%;">Reviving the Islamic Spirit: </span><br />December 23-25 Toronto, Canada</span><br /><br />RIS is a three day convention that is organized by "youth" to bring together the Islamic community in North America for some spiritual revival (as you can tell by the name) and a celebration of the Muslim identity. The program consists of back-to-back lectures with breaks in between for meals and prayer and the speakers include people like Tareq Suwaidan, Hamza Yusuf, Ms Shabaz (Malcolm X's daughter), Omar Abdel Kafi and many more.. This was my very first Islamic conference, especially of this nature or magnitude. Can you imagine that 15000 people came from all over North America and three hotels in Toronto were booked out??? MashaAllah.<br /><br />The first day I was there, I was filled with uncertainty and apprehension. Just what exactly should I expect? At breakfast, the entire eating area was filled with hijabis with me being the ONE AND ONLY non-hijabi there. I felt discomfort, heavy discomfort. My parents' speech of how I should cover up for the conference throughout the car ride and then later in the hotel room made me even more uneasy. But I am who I am, and above all I should fear Allah and not the gazes of other people who might or might not judge me. I have never really cared about that anyway, I am who I am to the fullest and whether people respect that or not is not my responsibility. My uneasiness just magnified my own questioning about Hijab - although I have been thinking about seriously putting it on for almost a year now, I have just not been able to follow through with it. Does it make sense for a Muslim girl to pray five times a day, perform all of her Islamic duties but still have a bare head??? That is another topic altogether..<br /><br />The weekend was purely magical.. being among thousands of other Muslims, many of whom are my age and dealing with similar struggles was very heartwarming (even though it was overwhelming at first). Just sitting in the dark room silently among the other thousands of Muslims migrating here to learn more about our deen, searching for the revival we crave to keep us going in this world which often feels at complete odds with our core values - my heart feels warm, proud and blessed. Most amazingly is that this convention is entirely organized, hosted, and planned by youth - I was thoroughly impressed! I now believe even more that Canada is somewhere where not only I can find myself and become the best of who I am.. and just, exhale!! Alhamdullah ala alsalama.<br /><br />TAKBEEEEEER!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />For more information on the convention: http://www.revivingtheislamicspirit.com/convention/Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1134566403157103092005-12-14T05:09:00.000-08:002006-01-01T08:09:54.430-08:00<span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Good morning Canada!!!</span><br /><br />After what feels like a very, very long journey.. I have finally arrived!!! I have been back in Montreal since Friday although I have been in Canada for over two weeks, had to travel a bit for family obligations (to see my beautiful blue eyed newborn nephew) and now I am back! Everything is on track, I have registered for my courses at McGill starting January, done a bit of job-searching and have embarked on the ultimate project - fixing up my room and finally having a place in this world that is uniquely MINE (will post up pictures when I am done). Switzerland feels worlds away.. and the habits of my daily life there are almost forgotten. Strange how distance really furthers the heart and we quickly adapt to our new environments. Beyond everything, I am thankful to God that I am finally here, getting settled and starting fresh! I feel like Montrealers should be warned...heeheehee..<br /><br />A quick hello to all my fellow bloggers!!Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1132695803051460992005-11-22T13:32:00.000-08:002005-11-22T13:43:23.073-08:00The house is bare...<br /><br />.. and I can't help feel as empty as it looks. Walking through the rooms my life here already feels like a distant memory as the sadness looms over me. How can the walls betray all the years of life and memories that were shared in between them? Traitors. How odd to leave your childhood home.Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1131669783424569752005-11-10T16:39:00.000-08:002005-11-10T16:45:37.376-08:00<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">TWO WEEKS LEFT...!!!</span></span><br /><br />I finally booked our plane tickets so now it is official - we have two weeks left in Europe inshaAllah. Now I am in the midst of selling furniture, selling off my car, getting all the paperwork done, liasing with our moving consultant, typing up letters informing all companies that we are leaving and trying to squeeze in some time for friendly bonding. Looming over all of this is future thoughts of career and "what's next" that I have been surpressing for so long... I'm stuck in between accounting, banking, marketing and international relations - between needs of security and wanting to follow my passions. But beyond that, the problem is not knowing what I really want and what I am truly talented in. My impatient restless brain is going to make me rip all of my hair out, I just know it... On the bright side, maybe that'll finally push me to wear hijab!!! Must always focus on the positive, right? ;o)<br /><br />Hope all you bloggers are well!! EID MUBAREK TO ALL!Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1130874741686781092005-11-01T11:45:00.000-08:002005-11-02T00:37:26.056-08:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Emotional Attachment to Objects</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">I have spent the last three weeks working hard to sell off all of our furniture and household items that we aren't shipping overseas (I have almost no respect for salespeople anymore by the way - all that blahblah just drives me nuts!) and I came to realize something.. I am not at all attached to material objects!!! Everytime I open a closet, I find that my mother has hidden some things that I have put up for sale - MY THINGS! Everyday is a discussion over the things we need to give away or sell because we just do't have enough space in the container and it is a struggle for my parents to just LET GO!!! My mother is in complete shock when I say I would rather just sell it off or give it away and let another child or family benefit from it.. and she says I have no heart!! Is it true? Am I abnormal for just not feeling attached to things, even if I've had them since childhood? I just feel so much more pleasure in giving items away. Is it strange that I don't want to keep a single thing (besides my clothes)? Hmmmm... I wonder..</span>Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1130362661264435152005-10-26T14:01:00.000-07:002005-10-27T02:07:55.170-07:00<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:180%;">Yearning for Stability</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It has been five years now. Five whole years. The promise <st1:country-region><st1:place>of Canada</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Uncertainty of immigration. False promises from the lawyer. Hopes of an undergraduate degree at McGill - the big university experience I had always dreamed of. Living without ever knowing where I would be in three months' time and hoping to finally make the move and start afresh somewhere new. And how I loved <st1:city><st1:place>Montreal</st1:place></st1:city>, my parents would be happy there too. Then in September of last year, five years after we applied to go to Canada, after finishing my degrees, securing a job and finally getting some stability into my daily routine - all the documents were ready for us to go to Montreal!! Sigh. The irony of life!<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now it's finally time for the move and I am filled with all sorts of emotions. After an insanely chaotic year of traveling back and forth from overseas as well as managing the move and all the time-consuming processes that come with it, I am facing the surreal possibility that I am finally going to be settled in one place for good! It feels as though I have been an observer of life for so long and have hardly lived it, just dealing with family obligations and taking life day by day. And it’s funny to think that I used to be (maybe I still am) this big career woman filled with ambitions and goals a rigidly planned out future! Maybe it was a lesson to learn. Allah gave me this year to slow things down and make me realize the importance of other things in this world... I want to start my life. Deep inside, I am just yearning for stability.<br /><br />In the back of my mind a little by-thought always reverberates. Will I ever be able to attain that stability? Or will I always be a nomad of the world? With my brothers and sisters spread all over <st1:place>North America</st1:place> and the <st1:country-region><st1:place>UK with the rest of my extended family in Libya</st1:place></st1:country-region>, I doubt I will ever have a place to really call home. Maybe with marriage and a family of my own.. I can plant those seeds. Hmmm.. let’s store that thought away..<br /><br />So now I find myself in my childhood home for the last time ever. Eighteen years of my life is in this home and every single room has a story. There was so much love, happiness and sadness within these walls and of course, so much familiarity and security. It has always been our little haven from the world. Wherever I travelled and whatever happened, I always had this house to come back to and it was always a relief. I remember that as each of my sisters got married, I would move into her room and relocate my belongings.. until now I am just spread out all over the house.. no place being uniquely mine but at the same time with all of it being mine. I should feel a sort of sadness to let it all go and while I do feel a glimpse of nostalgia already, I am numb.. and doing what I do best - looking to the future for survival.</p>Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1129652461754377612005-10-18T08:59:00.000-07:002005-10-18T09:34:10.186-07:00<span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Spirituality</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">Did you know that the word Spirituality comes from the Latin word for <span style="font-weight: bold;">breathing</span>? </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br />Personal spiritual awakening is key for a peaceful life. As humans, religion gives us the richness in our lives that we crave and enables us to expand our awareness of this world. I understand peoples’ distaste for “organized” or “institutionalized” religion (as it can be referred to), particularly with all the noise that has always surrounded religion (particularly with Islam these days). But we are smarter than that. Let’s set aside today’s biases about Islam and all the propaganda that is being fed to each and every one of us, which is an obvious political tool with very little truth or reflection of Islam to it. When I say Islam, I am referring to a peaceful spiritual path, a collection of beliefs that endows us with a particular way of seeing the world – the knowledge that explains our place in the universe as believers.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p><br /><br />Only recently did I come t</o:p>o fully realize how blessed I am to have been raised by practicing Muslim parents who worked very hard to keep Islam alive in the West while raising five children. I’ll admit that there were very difficult moments growing up and integrating into a society at odds with my beliefs and there were times I did feel stifled. Now that I think about it, growing up isolated from any religious community, I managed to form my own spirituality based on what I had read and learned without social contamination or prejudices. My Islam was private and pure. <span style=""> </span>With time and trust, my parents learned to give me enough breathing space to maintain my own independence and formulate my own beliefs while standing beside me as my guiding lights through life. Little did I know while I was driving them crazy debating and discussing every issue you could think of throughout my adolescent and teenage years that my parents were providing me with one of the greatest gifts of mankind; my spirituality.. my Islam.<o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br />Growing up in <st1:city><st1:place>Geneva</st1:place></st1:city></span><span style="font-size:100%;">, surrounded by people who were financially blessed.. I came to realize the importance of spirituality even more. My interaction with others at university and at work blatantly taught me that the quest for material security alone does not ultimately satisfy, not even emotional security or great knowledge is enough. Without a view of the meaning of life or the bigger picture, financial wealth can actually lead to a life of misery and degredation. For a while at university, I lived with the frustration of feeling like I was the only “balanced” person out of these seemingly insane 20something year olds – was I abnormal? My experiences have taught me that as humans in this world, we were built to seek answers to larger questions and to pursue an innate need of personal development that takes us beyond the self and beyond this world. <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br />Spiritual figures are an inspiration. Muhammad Assad who wrote “The Road to <st1:city><st1:place>Mecca</st1:place></st1:city></span><span style="font-size:100%;">” grew up as a Viennese Jew and left <st1:place>Europe</st1:place></span><span style="font-size:100%;">to become a defender of Islam. Malcolm X (who wrote his own biography) was a criminal whose religious conversation transformed him into a voice for black empowerment. The great writer Herman Hesse who wrote “Siddartha”, a novel that is said to echo is own search for the path and the knowledge of God. Richard Alpert, also known as Ram Dass, was a professor of psychology in Harvard and gave up his career to become a master meditator and guru. Mohandas Ghandi became a symbol of selflessness and human freedom through his daily habits of simple living and celibacy. </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Their spiritual metamorphoses should inspire us and remind us of the possibility of change in human character and the importance of discovering our life purpose. Perhaps by understanding the basis of the transformation of others, we may be able to uncover <st1:city><st1:place>ur</st1:place></st1:city></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> own spiritual potential. <o:p></o:p></span> <span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br />Enlightenment. I realize that it is only when I stop being a reflection of what others expect of me, of my culture and all those years of conditioning that I will begin to master my own mind and true spiritual healing will begin. </span><span style="font-size:10;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I want to be able to live in this world with a heightened awareness that we are mortal beings in a temporary world.. to live for Allah and Islam.. to have a constant awareness of my actions and my being and their significance. I get too easily swept up in the wave of daily life. My needs of integration and belonging and goals of career success distract me. But that is the struggle.. our own little jihad. With heightened awareness and the will for change, I believe each and every one of us can live the more spiritually whole and peaceful life that we crave.<br /><br />Sigh.<br /><br />Where to begin??</span><br /></span>Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1129333207235574622005-10-14T15:17:00.000-07:002005-10-14T18:57:13.150-07:00<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8063/1642/1600/Compassion.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8063/1642/320/Compassion.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></div> <span style="font-size:180%;">Compassion</span><br /><br />Yesterday, a good friend asked me what I would identify as the most important characteristic in a human being.. without hesitation, I responded "<font>compassion". Mother Teresa, Princess Diana (may they both rest in peace), my mother.. all pop into mind when I am asked for examples.. I value people who are compassionate because they are not only able to sense another's feelings but react in the most loving and sympathetic of ways. The most amazing part of it all, is that you don't even have to ask for anything at all.. compassionate people are content with the sincerity of giving and their joy is derived from your own well-being... <span style="font-style: italic;">"Compassion - literally "suffering with" - is born out of feeling rawness of the heart, which also makes us more sensitive to others". -- John Welwood. </span><br /><br />A husband acting out of compassion would help his wife in the chores instead of critising her cooking and cleaning - he understands that she is tired and that her work as a wife and mother is demanding. A compassionate mother would understand why her child is misbehaving and patienly tries to instruct her child instead of punishing him or her. Likewise, a compassionate observer feels concern when he or she watches the suffering of fellow man.. and has a desire for all the pain to be<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>banished.<br /><br />Compassion is also the basis of all morality and of great importance for all religious traditions as well as spiritual philosophies (buddhism, for instance). "<span style="font-style: italic;">Compassion is the ultimate and most meaningful embodiment of emotional maturity. It is through compassion that a person achieves the highest peak and deepest reach in his or her search for self-fulfillment." --Arthur Jersild</span><br /><table id="mdT" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="780"> <tbody><tr><td id="rCl"><br /></td></tr></tbody> </table> Compassion is the highest form of love for ourselves and others. <font>What human characteristic could possibly be more beautiful, pure and desirable?<br /><font><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >A Few Quotes on Compassion:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span>Spiritual energy brings compassion into the real world. With compassion, we see benevolently our own human condition and the condition of our fellow human beings. We drop prejudice. We withhold judgment. <span style="font-style: italic;">Christina Baldwin</span><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /><br />Part of her gift in bringing comfort to those in anguish lay in this sensitive awareness of when silence is best. She was not a voluble sympathiser, quite the reverse. At some point during an outpouring of grief, she would stretch out a hand or both hands and ouch the person on the arm or face. <span style="font-style: italic;">W.F. Dees, on a trip to Bosnia with Diana Princess of Wales.</span><br /><br />It's not how much we give, but how much love we put in doing - that's compassion in action. <span style="font-style: italic;"> Mother Teresa</span><br /><br />Compassion is being in tune with oneself, the other person and the whole world. It is goodness at its most intuitive and unreflective. It is a harmony which opens itself and permits the flowing out of love towards others without asking any reward. <span style="font-style: italic;">David Brandon</span></span></span></span>Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1129088764119588112005-10-11T20:44:00.000-07:002005-10-11T20:48:22.383-07:00<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Libyan Arab Airlines</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Here is a joke that I received through e-mail a long while ago, wanted to post it here to give my fellow Libyans a laugh...</span><br /><br />"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your Captain Faraj Khalf allah welcoming you to the Libyan Arab airline. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery.<br /><br />This is flight 126 to Tunis... Landing in Tunis is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the West. And if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!<br /><br />The Libyan Arab Airlines has an excellent record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us!<br /><br />It is with pleasure I announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!<br /><br />To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits!<br /><br />We regret to inform you, that today's in flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air Tunis, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.<br /><br />There is no smoking in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best View. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!<br /><br />Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."</span>Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17237281.post-1128900083744305582005-10-09T16:17:00.000-07:002005-10-09T16:40:35.853-07:00RED'S SURVEY...<br /><br />I completed this survey following a request from lovely Red to do so.. I usually hit the delete button when I get forwards like these but I thought it was the least I could do after the warm welcome you gave me to the blog scene. So here goes, happy reading!<br /><br />1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER:<br />Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I was laughing at the laugh of the guy sitting next to me more than at the movie. Sorry but was disappointed!<br /><br />2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?<br />Right now, the Koran - Ramadan.<br /><br />3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?<br />Cranium. Love it. Monopoly next.<br /><br />4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?<br />Marie Claire and Oprah (shhhh).<br /><br />5. FAVORITE SMELL?<br />Freshly baked bread. Ohhhh.. the joy!<br /><br />6.FAVORITE FOOD?<br />Hmmm.. Sushi.<br /><br />7. FAVORITE SOUND?<br />3oud (arabic instrument).<br /><br />8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?<br />Loneliness.<br /><br />9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?<br />Have to wash up and pray.<br /><br />10. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?<br />Hmmmm..Sindbad - shawarma place in Montreal.<br /><br />11. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME:<br />Natayla & Ibrahim.<br /><br />12. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY:<br />I'd save it!<br /><br />13. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?<br />Absolutely, always in a hurry!<br /><br />14. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?<br />Laugh. Never, no.<br /><br />15. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?<br />Scary.<br /><br />16. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?<br />VW Golf.<br /><br />17. FAVORITE DRINK?<br />Any herbal tea. Verveine, Mint or Tschai.<br /><br />18. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD...":<br />I always make time for things I want to do so not sure how to fill this in! Plus being on this six month break doesn't help!<br /><br />19. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?<br />Always. Broccoli is a SUPERFOOD!<br /><br />20. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?<br />I wouldn't.. Natural all the way! (Might change when the grey hairs start creeping in!)<br /><br />21. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN:<br />Frankfurt, Geneva, London, Montreal. (Does Tripoli count if I go once a year?!)<br /><br />22. HALF EMPTY OR FULL?<br />Full.<br /><br />23. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH:<br />Soccer and Basketball.<br /><br />24. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS!<br />I am doing one of these surveys that I generally can't stand so that says it all! Also she's a sweetie.. thanks for accepting me into your little blogcircle my lovely little pickle.<br /><br />25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL?<br />Morning person, no doubt<br /><br />26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP?<br />Not sure what we're talking about.. tanning or eggs? ;o)<br /><br />27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?<br />Gym.<br /><br />28. FAVORITE PIE<br />Apple Crumble.. and Pecan.. and Strawberry.. Oh my, love pies!<br /><br />OK, all DONE!!! :o)Nurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15813575748980379967noreply@blogger.com6